Word of the day! 8-18-08

Today's Word
magniloquent \mag-NIL-uh-kwent\, adjective:Lofty or grandiose in speech or expression; using a high-flown style of discourse; bombastic.

"Stevens did for American poetic language what Saul Bellow was to do for prose, extending its boundaries, taking in the magniloquent, the arcane, the plainspoken, the gaudy, the low-rent."-- Algis Valiunas, "Wallace Stevens: Collected Poetry and Prose", Commentary, January 1, 1998

"A feature of Young's intellectual project is to incorporate the Elizabethan delight in metaphors both decorous and indecorous, constantly embellishing her prose with a poetic juxtaposition of the grand with the prosaic, "a constant alternation of the magniloquent and the colloquial."-- Constance Eichenlaub, "Marguerite Young", Review of Contemporary Fiction, June 22, 2000

"Although Napoleon presented himself as "the Enlightenment embodied, bringing rationality and justice to peoples hitherto ruled in the interests of privileged castes," and although he may even have believed to some degree in the image he presented, the reality of his rule belied the magniloquent professions of moral generosity."-- Algis Valiunas, "The ashes of Napoleon", Commentary, June 1, 2002

"Shannon, doubling as NSBA's executive director over that time, has taken wicked delight in delivering new vocabulary in his sometimes magniloquent columns about the workings of local school boards."-- "Thomas A. Shannon", School Administrator, April 1996

Magniloquent is derived from Latin magniloquentia, from magnus, "great" + the present participle of loqui, "to speak."

Laugh of the day! 8-18-08

Top 45 Oxymoron's:

45. Act naturally
44. Found missing
43. Resident alien
42. Advanced BASIC
41. Genuine imitation
40. Airline Food
39. Good grief
38. Same difference
37. Almost exactly
36. Government organization
35. Sanitary landfill
34. Alone together
33. Legally drunk
32. Silent scream
31. Living dead
30. Small crowd
29. Business ethics
28. Soft rock
27. Butt Head
26. Military Intelligence
25. Software documentation
24. New classic
23. Sweet sorrow
22. Childproof
21. "Now, then ..."
20. Synthetic natural gas
19. Passive aggression
18. Taped live
17. Clearly misunderstood
16. Peace force
15. Extinct Life
14. Temporary tax increase
13. Computer jock
12. Plastic glasses
11. Terribly pleased
10. Computer security
9. Political science
8. Tight slacks
7. Definite maybe
6. Pretty ugly
5. Twelve-ounce pound cake
4. Diet ice cream
3. Working vacation
2. Exact estimate
1. Microsoft Works

Word of the day! 8-16-08

Today's Word
supernumerary \soo-puhr-NOO-muh-rair-ee; -NYOO-\, adjective:1. Exceeding the stated, standard, or prescribed number.2. Exceeding what is necessary or desired; superfluous.
noun:1. A supernumerary person or thing.2. An actor without a speaking part, as a walk-on or an extra in a crowd scene.

"The Justice Department contractor, the Biogenics Corporation, of Houston, studied blood samples from thirty-six residents and concluded that eight of the people had a rare aberration it called "supernumerary acentric fragments," or extra pieces of genetic material."-- Michael H. Brown, "A Toxic Ghost Town", The Atlantic, July 1989

"Momart is where private collections are put out to pasture, where works that are too big, too precious, too fragile or simply supernumerary to their owners' homes are discreetly tended by expert staff."-- Laura Cumming, "What the Sensationalists did next", The Observer, April 23, 2000

"And yet, important as its role has been in the history of civilization, the bookshelf seldom even gets mentioned in the program; it is treated as a supernumerary, taken for granted, and ignored."-- Henry Petroski, The Book on the Bookshelf

"Sweetums, the Swiss chef and many others serve principally as supernumeraries in the picture's extravagant production numbers."-- Rita Kempley, "Seeworthy Muppets", Washington Post, February 16, 1995

Supernumerary is from Latin supernumerarius, from super, "over" + numerus, "number."

Laugh of the day! 8-16-08

On day a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde were on their way to heaven. God told them the stairs to heaven were 1,000 steps and on every step he was going to tell them a joke. If they laughed they would not be able to get to heaven. So the redhead made it to the 45th step and laughed. The brunette made it to the 200th step and laughed. But the blonde made it to the 999th step and laughed even before god told his joke. God asked "Why did you laugh I haven't even told the joke yet" The blonde said "I know I just now got the first one!!!"

Word of the day! 8-15-08

Today's Word Yesterday's Word Previous Words Subscribe for Free Help
blackguard \BLAG-uhrd\, noun:1. A rude or unscrupulous person; a scoundrel.2. A person who uses foul or abusive language.
adjective:1. Scurrilous; abusive; low; worthless; vicious; as, "blackguard language."
transitive verb:1. To revile or abuse in scurrilous language.

"Douglas was not a saint, though, so his behaviour and attitude were, as he wrote, 'neither better nor worse than my contemporaries -- that is to say, [I became] a finished young blackguard, ripe for any kind of wickedness'."-- Douglas Murray, Bosie: A Biography of Lord Alfred Douglas

"The years, as time went on, imparted to him that peculiar majesty that white-haired blackguards, successful (and unpunished) criminals, seem generally to possess."-- Saul David, Prince of Pleasure

"Monroe wondered, but did not ask, what could have driven a young lady of such fine bearing and aristocratic attraction to leave home at a tender age and follow the fortunes of a blackguard like Reynolds."-- William Safire, Scandalmonger

"When we want to talk friendly with him, he will not listen to us, and from beginning to end his talk is blackguard."-- Tecumseh, quoted in Tecumseh: A Life, by John Sugden, Tecumseh: A Life, by John Sugden

Blackguard is from black + guard. The term originally referred to the lowest kitchen servants of a court or of a nobleman's household. They had charge of pots and pans and kitchen other utensils, and rode in wagons conveying these during journeys from one residence to another. Being dirtied by this task, they were jocularly called the "black guard."

Laugh of the day! 8-15-08

Every day a woman stood on her porch and shouted, “Praise the Lord!”And every day the atheist next door yelled back, “There is no Lord!”One day she prayed, “Lord, I’m hungry. Please send me groceries.”The next morning she found a big bag of food on the stairs. “Praise the Lord,” she shouted.“I told you there was no Lord,” her neighbour said, jumping from behind a bush. “I bought those groceries.”“Praise the Lord,” the woman said. “He not only sent me groceries, but he made the devil pay for them.”

Laugh of the day! 8-14-08

This guy goes skydiving for the first time. After he jumps out of theplane, he counts to ten, pulls the ripcord, and nothing happens. Onlya little worried, he pulls the cord for the auxiliary parachute, butunfortunately, the chute still does not appear. As he is plummetingtoward the Earth, he sees a woman coming up the other way. He shouts toher "Do you know anything about parachutes?" "No", she says, "do youknow anything about gas stoves?"

Word of the day! 8-14-08

Today's Word
lackadaisical \lack-uh-DAY-zih-kuhl\, adjective:Lacking spirit or liveliness; showing lack of interest; languid; listless.

"Drowsy from the heat and from fatigue, he dozed to the steady lackadaisical clips of the mule's shoes."-- Patricia Powell, The Pagoda

"There was an oddly lackadaisical inflection to his speech. A sense of merely going though the motions."-- Lesley Hazleton, Driving To Detroit

"The very title, Hours of Idleness, which the young lord affixed to his maiden volume, sufficiently indicated the lackadaisical spirit in which he came before the public."-- J. F. A. Pyre, "Byron in Our Day", The Atlantic, April 1907

"The simple fact is, whether we admit it or not, there's never been an "intelligence" or "achievement" test on which the smart and industrious have not done better than the dumb and the lackadaisical."-- Jonah Goldberg, "Stupid Aptitude Test", National Review, July 1, 2002

Lackadaisical comes from the expression lackadaisy, a variation of lackaday, itself a shortening of "alack the (or a) day!"

Laugh of the day! 8-13-08

Why is it so difficult to find men who are caring, sensitive, and good-looking?
They already have boyfriends.

Word of the day! 8-13-08

Today's Word
chichi \SHEE-shee\, adjective:Affectedly trendy.

"Going in gangs to those chichi clubs at Maidenhead."-- E. Taylor, Game of Hide-&-Seek

"Whether the chichi gender theorists like it or not, sexual duality is a law of nature among all highly evolved life forms."-- Camille Paglia

"The sort of real delicious Italian country cooking that is a revelation after so much chichi Italian food dished up in London."-- Daily Telegraph, January 22, 1969

"[Judith] Hope -- who lives in East Hampton, where the Clintons have a lot of chichi friends -- has been getting ink by the barrelful with her regular interviews quoting conversations with the first lady, on subjects ranging from Senate ambitions to summer and post-White House living arrangements."-- Washington Post, June 4, 1999

From the French word that literally means "curl of false hair"; used figuratively in the phrases faire des chichis, "to have affected manners, to make a fuss"; and gens à chichis, "affected, snobbish people." Sometimes spelled "chi-chi."

Laugh of the day! 8-12-08

Q. Did you hear about the new "divorced" Barbie doll that they're selling in stores now?
A. It comes with all of Ken's stuff.

Word of the day! 8-12-08

Today's Word
enervate \EN-ur-vayt\, transitive verb:1. To deprive of vigor, force, or strength; to render feeble; to weaken.2. To reduce the moral or mental vigor of.

"Beatriz de Ahumada soldiered on to produce nine more children, a tour of duty that left her enervated and worn."-- Cathleen Medwick, Teresa of Avila: The Progress of a Soul

"In countries like India, Pakistan, Indonesia, Nigeria and Ghana I have always felt enervated by the slightest physical or mental exertion, whereas in the UK, France, Germany or the US I have always felt reinforced and stimulated by the temperate climate, not only during long stays, but even during brief travels."-- David S. Landes, The Wealth and Poverty of Nations

"The tendency of abstract thought . . . to enervate the will is one of the real dangers of the highest education."-- Mark Pattison, Suggestions on Academical Organisation

"The conquerors were enervated by luxury."-- Edward Gibbon, The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire

Enervate is from the past participle of Latin enervare, "to remove the sinews from, to weaken," from e-, ex-, "out of, from" + nervus, "sinew."

Laugh of the day! 8-11-08

Q. What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
A. The taste!

Word of the day! 8-11-08

Today's Word
provenance \PROV-uh-nuhn(t)s\, noun:Origin; source.

"In a world awash in information of dubious provenance, whom can you trust to tell you the truth?"-- Gerald Jonas, review of The Jazz, by Melissa Scott, New York Times, June 18, 2000

"There may have been as many as one hundred antique statues of Roman provenance in the city at the time of the Fourth Crusade."-- Patricia Fortini Brown, Venice & Antiquity

"The provenance of his possessions traced back to dukes and duchesses, kings, queens, czars, emperors, and dictators."-- John Berendt, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil

Provenance comes from French, from provenant, present participle of provenir, "to originate," ultimately from Latin provenire, from pro-, "forth" + venire, "to come."

Laugh of the day! 8-9-08

Q. Why do chicken coops have two doors?
A. Because if it had four doors it's be a chicken sedan.

Word of the day! 8-9-08

Today's Word
tittle-tattle \TIT-uhl TAT-uhl\, noun:1. Idle, trifling talk; empty prattle.2. An idle, trifling talker; a gossip.
verb:1. to talk idly; to prate.

"The literary tittle-tattle of the age."-- Edinburgh Review, 1820

"It is better even to have a useless hobby than to be a tittle-tattler and a busybody."-- Samuel Smiles, Life and Labour

"The stir aroused by this latest piece of tittle-tattle quickly faded away, as if congealed under the icy wind of endless nights."-- Andrei Makine, Once Upon the River Love [Translated by Geoffrey Strachan]

"Take care on your part, Friar Ange,' replied the philosopher, 'and as you're afraid of the devil, don't offend him too much and do not excite him against you by inconsiderate tittle-tattle."-- Anatole France, The Romance of the Queen Pédauque

Tittle-tattle is a varied reduplication of tattle, which derives from Medieval Dutch tatelen, to babble.

Word of the day! 8-8-08

Today's Word
vexillology \vek-sil-AHL-uh-jee\, noun:The study of flags.

"This unknown specialist has demonstrated his great knowledge of heraldry and vexillology--" Occasional Newsletter to Librarians, January 4, 1966

"One of the most interesting phases of vexillology...is the important contribution to our heritage of flags by the Arab World."-- Arab World, October 13, 1959

From Latin vexillum, "flag" + (Greek) -logy (from logos, " word, discourse").

Laugh of the day! 8-8-08

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Word of the day! 8-7-08

Today's Word
asperity \as-PAIR-uh-tee\, noun:1. Roughness of surface; unevenness.2. Roughness or harshness of sound; a quality that grates upon the ear.3. Roughness of manner; severity; harshness.

"The separation wave probes all the rocks in its path, moving forward until it hits another asperity or fault bend, whereupon it abruptly stops."-- Sandra Blakeslee, "Quake Theory Attacks Prevailing Wisdom OnHow Faults Slip and Slide", New York Times, April 14, 1992

"Many years later, when I was sketching in Rome, a grim-looking Englishwoman came up to me and said with some asperity, "I see you are painting MY view.""-- Lord Berners, A Distant Prospect

"She spoke with great authority, with an asperity that didn't allow for sentimental accountings or ideological projections."-- Daphne Merkin, "A Passion for Order", New York Times, November 17, 1996

Asperity comes from Latin asperitas, from asper, "rough." It is related to exasperate, "to irritate in a high degree," from ex- (here used intensively) + asperatus, past participle of asperare, "to roughen," from asper.

Laugh of the day! 8-7-08

There were three blondes who wanted to cross a river. So the first blonde asked God if he would make her smart enough to know how to swim and cross the river. So God did.The second blonde asked God to make her smart enough to build a raft and croos over the river. So God did. When the third blonde was about to ask God for her wish, God said, "I'm tired of you blondes and your dumb wishes." So he made the third blonde smart enough to see the bridge and cross over it.

Word of the day! 8-6-08

Today's Word
spoony \SPOO-nee\, adjective:1. Foolish; silly; excessively sentimental.2. Foolishly or sentimentally in love.

"Nevertheless, because we're spoony old things at heart, we like to believe that some showbiz marriages are different."-- Julie Burchill, "Cut!", The Guardian, February 7, 2001

"So when your fervor cools, you think that this suddenly familiar and lusterless partner couldn't possibly be the one you're destined to be with; otherwise you'd still be all spoony, lovey-dovey and bewitched."-- John Dufresne, "What's So Hot About Passion?", Washington Post, February 9, 2003

"We know they aren't doing it for love, otherwise it wouldn't take $50 million to sucker them into getting spoony for a construction worker."-- "Say it isn't so 'Joe'", USA Today, December 30, 2002

Spoony is from the slang term spoon, meaning "a simpleton or a silly person."

Laugh of the day! 8-6-08

You Are An Internet Addict When:
1. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

2. You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue as to when it happened.

3. Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to go from top to bottom.

4. Your nightmares are in HTML and GIFS.

5. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

6. You start introducing yourself as "Jim at net dot com"

7. Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address on TV.

8. You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives.

9. Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.

10. All of your friends have an @ in their names.

11. When looking at a web page full of someone else's links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple.

12. Your dog has its own home page.

13. You can't call your mother... She doesn't have a modem.

14. You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

15. Your phone bill is a heavy as a brick.

16. You write your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.

17. You don't know the sex of three of your closest friends, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.

18. Your husband tells you that he has had the beard for 2 months.

19. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

20. You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" -- even though you don't have a job.

21. You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.

22. Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."

23. You get a tattoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape 3.0 or higher."

24. You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP... because you never log off. 25. The last girl you picked up was only a GIF.

26. You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.

27. Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.

28. As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.

Laugh of the day! 8-5-08

A blonde was sitting outside a store on the curb crying..the manager of the store spotted her outside and went outside and asked the blonde whats wrong…she said her mother just died..and the manager said oh I’m sorry.. the blondes cell phone starts to ring and she answers it and says hello..omg! are you serious!.. and she hangs up and the manager asks her who that was and the blonde says…that was my sister…her mom just died too!

Word of the day! 8-5-08

Today's Word
vituperate \vy-TOO-puh-rate, -TYOO-, vi-\, verb:To find fault with; to scold; to overwhelm with wordy abuse; to censure severely or abusively; to rate.

"There are moments in life when true invective is called for, when it becomes an absolute necessity, out of a deep sense of justice, to denounce, mock, vituperate, lash out, in the strongest possible language."-- Charles Simic, quoted in "The argument culture", Irish Times, December 17, 1998

"The incensed priests...continued to raise their voices, vituperating each other in bad Latin."-- Sir Walter Scott, Ivanhoe

Vituperate comes from Latin vitupero, vituperare, to scold, blame, censure.

Word of the day! 8-4-08

Today's Word
obeisance \oh-BEE-suhn(t)s; oh-BAY-suhn(t)s\, noun:1. An expression of deference or respect, such as a bow or curtsy.2. Deference, homage.

"They made obeisance right to the floor, coiling like bright snakes from the arms of their astonished handlers."-- Ann Wroe, Pontius Pilate

"His presence was betrayed to Miloš, who ordered his execution and then sent his rival's head to the Sultan to demonstrate his obeisance."-- Misha Glenny, The Balkans

"In all, it had served to create a highly restrictive society where the arrogance of superiors was as ingrained as their subordinates' fawning obeisance."-- Robert Whiting, Tokyo Underworld

Obeisance comes from Old French obeissance, from obeissant, present participle of obeir, to obey, from Latin oboedire, to listen to, from ob-, to + audire, to hear. The adjective form is obeisant.

Laugh of the day! 8-4-08

Chinese Proverb:

Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Laugh of the day! 8-2-08

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fsh

Laugh of the day! 8-01-08

Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs were.
One man was an engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third man was a chemist, and the fourth was a government worker.
To show off, the engineer called to his dog. “T-square, do your stuff.” T-square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen, and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that that that was pretty smart.The accountant said that his dog could do better. He called to his dog and said,”Spreadsheet, do your stuff.” Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies.He divided them into four equal piles of three cookies each.
Everyone agreed that that was good.
The chemist said that his dog could do better still.he called to his dog and said, “Measure, do your stuff.” Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a ten-ounce glass from the cupboard, and poured exactly eight ounces without spilling a drop.
Everyone agreed that that was pretty impressive.
Then the three men turned to the government worker and said, “What can your dog do?”
The government worker called to his dog and said, “Coffee Break, do your stuff.” Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, claimed he had injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for worker’ compensation, and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave!

Laugh of the day! 7-31-08

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One cannibal turns to the other and asks, "This taste funny to you?"

Laugh of the day! 7-30-08

A duck walks into a drugstore and asks for a tube of ChapStick. The cashier says to the duck, "That'll be $1.49."The duck replies, "Put it on my bill!"

Laugh of the day! 7-29-08

A young man called directory assistance. "Hello, operator, I would like the telephone number for Mary Jones in Phoenix, Arizona.""There are multiple listings for Mary Jones in Phoenix," the operator replied. "Do you have a street name?"The young man hesitated, and then said, "Well, most people call me Ice Man."

Laugh of the day! 7-28-08

"Martin Levine, owner of a movie theater chain in New York City, has passed away at age 65," the newspaper obit read. "The funeral will be held on Thursday at 2:10, 4:20, 6:30, 8:40 and 10:50."

Laugh of the day! 7-26-08

Very stupid robbers

Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, "I hear sirens. Jump!"

The second one said, "But we're on the 13th floor!"

The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious."

Laugh of the day! 7-25-08

Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours?

A: Because the can said "concentrate" on it.

Laugh of the Day! 7-24-08

His And Hers Road Trip

HERS:Pulls off at wrong exit.

Opens window.

Asks directions from a knowledgeable police officer.

Arrives at destination presently.

HIS:Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it's the correct one.

Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he's right.

Drives an extra 5 miles just in case.

Finally rolls down window just to get fresh air.

Pulls up to a 7 -11.

Gets three hot-dogs, a large slurpee, and beef jerky.

Asks person behind counter how to get back onto the highway.

Gets back into car.

Laughs at the idea of looking at a map as he pulls away from the 7-11.

Drives down a dirt road with no street lights insisting this is the way back because guy from 7-11 said it was.

Almost hits a deer.

Curses the night.

Curses you.

Curses the large slurpee.

Drives and fiddles with radio.

Yells at you for suggesting the map again.

Admits he didn't want to go to Thanksgiving at your sister's anyway.

He hates your sister.

Ever since she called him a pernicious weasel.

He had to look up pernicious.

Couldn't find a dictionary.

Finally found a dictionary.

Couldn't spell pernicious.

Seethes at the memory of it all.

But she is laughing inside..And of course you're still lost.

Laugh of the day! 7-23-08

What do you call a short psychic who escaped from jail?

A small medium at large

Laugh of the day! 7-22-08

Funny book titles

The French Chef - by Sue Flay

Unemployed - by Anita Job

Off to Market - by Tobias A. Pigg

Inflammation, Please - by Arthur Itis

Handel's Messiah - by Ollie Luyah

Downpour! - by Wayne Dwops

Cloning - by Ima Dubble

Irish Flooring - by Lynn O'Leum

Neither a Borrower - by Nora Lender Bee

The Scent of a Man - by Jim Nasium

Is O. J. Guilty? - by Howard I. Know

Animal Illnesses - by Ann Thrax

French Overpopulation - by Francis Crowded

Fallen Underwear - by Lucy Lastic

House Construction - by Bill Jerome Home

Yellow River - by Iam Ping

The L. A. Lakers Breakfast - by Kareem O' Wheat

Why Cars Stop - by M. T. Tank

Wind in the Willows - by Russell Ingleaves

Look Younger - by Fay Slift

Mountain Climbing - by Andover Hand

It's Springtime! - by Theresa Green

Illusion

Laugh of the day! 7-21-08

"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder"

65 Tips for Trips

(Preschool age and up)

By: Laurel Smith (Road Trip Mom)

Being in the car with your kids is a wonderful opportunity to spend some quality time with them, away from other daily distractions. A little undivided attention from Mom or Dad can go a long way toward a little person's happiness. It's sometimes nice to sit in the back of the van with your kids while dad is doing the driving and play these games right along with them. Many kids don't remember the days before DVDs kept them quiet on family road trips. But if you've exhausted all your movies, or you don't believe in using them, there are some standard car games you can rely on to divert young children.

1: I'm Thinking of An Animal
Have one child think of an animal, and then provide some clues so others can guess which animal it is.
2: Rainbow Game

Call out a color and everyone in the car has to identify something in that color.
3:Alphabet Games

Start with the letter A, and fill in this sentence with words beginning with A: My name is Catherine, my husband/wife's name is Colton, we live in California and we sell CARS!
4:License plate Game (One of many)

Find a license plate as far away from your home state as possible, or take the letters of a plate, LTC, for example and make up a phrase such as Love That Car or Lucy The Camel. The sillier, the better!

5:Give your kids an allowance for the day

Tell them that this money is for snacks, treats, souvenirs etc... but when it is gone, that is all there is. Help them learn to budget their money and make good choices.
6:Let your children have a map

Give your kids an opportunity to have their own copy of a map of where you are going. Show them how far you have come, how much further there is to go and let them mark it with a crayon. Every time they ask "How much further?” have them take out their map and see for themselves. You might also like to get a compass and show them how it works along with the map. You can buy wall maps, travel maps and travel guides , or for more fun, you can also print driving directions with a map when you click "get directions" at any mapping website such as mapquest. You can also try a Kids Road Atlas if you are going to be traveling across several states! Also kids who are old enough to read can help navigate with Travmatix. You can use this site to print driving directions along with a list of all the food, fuel and hotel options at every exit along your route. When they start getting hungry or need a break, have them check the list of what is available at upcoming exits!
7:MAKE a "map" of where you are going

Draw your own that has the major stops and cities, and a nice happy drawing for your final destination. Throw in a few simple drawings of landmarks you'll see along the way, such as a big bridge you'll or a mountain tunnel. A home made map is easy for kids to follow and gives them a clearer picture of how much further there is to go. If your kids are old enough and it's a trip that you take frequently, have the kids make their own map!
8:Mystery Writing

One child holds out his hand and closes his eyes while the other child "writes" on his hand with her finger. The first child has to guess what the second person is writing. Start with just letters, and if it gets too easy, play with 2 or 3 letter words, pausing between letters. There's no winner or loser with this game. It can just go on continuously!
9:Have bubble gum blowing contests

The weirder the gum the better. Get it at the rest areas and try all the different flavors.
10:The License Plate Game

Print a U.S. map off the computer and color in the states as you see license plates from each one. See if you can get all 50 states between Memorial Day and Labor Day. You might even record the time and date and the state where you saw it. This can be a family project as you build your "collection" of license plates together. Here's a collection of printable maps you can use for this game, or a simple List of the States to check off. Check out my article on the License Plate Game
11:String Figures

You just need a string or a piece of yarn for this one. See if you can make "Jacob's Ladder", "Kitty Whiskers", "Cup and Saucer", or play Cats Cradle! Here's a list of websites that have instructions and illustrations of all the old favorite string figures.
12:Play Cards

Teach your kids to play "Old Maid" or "Go Fish" or Crazy 8s. Click here to Print the Rules for just about every card game you can think of, and bring them with you to learn some new games.

13:Tell Jokes

Take turns telling silly jokes like Knock-knock jokes or riddles. This is especially fun when the kids use their creativity to make up their own jokes. Even a two-year-old can tell jokes! They may not make sense, but they sure are hilarious. If you need help getting started, good joke book for kids

14:Car Travel Bingo

Travel Bingo boards that you flip the red area when you see the picture on the board. Look for them at dollar stores or Cracker Barrel. OR, try creating your own by writing words or simple pictures of roadside items or road signs. Try a printable car bingo game such as the ones at the Moms Minivan Pintables page. OR, I finally found a place that sells the Family classic Travel Bingo online.
15:Plan a Stop Somewhere Wacky and Fun

Give them a road trip they'll really remember by stopping at some of those wonderful touristy places. The New Roadside America book is a funny guide to the wonderful world of some of the strangest and wackiest tourist attractions you'll ever find, and they also have a website. Eccentric America is another fun guidebook, which profiles hundreds of fringe attractions and quirky events across the country.
16:Magnetic Board Games / Wipe Clean Games

Some of these are an all-in-one kind of game pack, others are just classics by themselves. The car versions are nice because they are small and compact, and have easy ways to store the pieces so they don't get lost.
17:Counting Cows
One of my favorites. Count the cows you see on your side of the car.
If you pass a field full of lots of cows, you'd better count fast! If you pass a cemetery on your side of the car, you lose all your cows, but only if the opposing team calls "your cows are buried!". This game gets interesting when distraction tactics are used to either cause your opponent to miss cows on their side of the road or to miss a cemetery on your side of the road. A white horse can count as a bonus. The team with the most cows wins. Here's an article about counting cows with some scoring ideas and cow jokes to tell while you play.
18:Count Other Stuff

Count blue vans, or count red cars, find 10 horses, count signs, billboards, police cars. Count water towers. How many people pass you on the highway? -- count them too!
19:Scavenger Hunt

Give each child a list of items to watch for while driving

The list can be made up ahead of time and adjusted for the scenery. Here's a sample printable list of items to hunt for!
20:Classic Board Games

There's a reason these games are classic -- they are fun! I could never count all the hours my family spent playing Monopoly in the car. It's my all time fave. (I was always the Banker!). Here's where you can get Monopoly Junior which is a great version to play in the car:
21:The Alphabet Game

Start with the letter "A" and find one on a sign, truck, building or license plate, say the word and then move on to the next letter. You can do this as a competition or together as a family for the younger beginning readers. The first one to get to the letter "Z" is the winner!
22:Read Out Loud

This passes the time VERY quickly in the car for the reader and for the family members who are listening. Great opportunity to read those Harry Potter Books as a family. If you can't find Harry Potter Books at the library, you can find lots of them dirt cheap at my favorite online bookstore
23:Sing!

Sing out loud from memory, or sing along to the radio, or an audio tape. Nothing makes families bond like singing together (you remember the Partridge family, right?). When you get through all 99 verses of 99 Bottles of Beer... you might like to try the next suggestion:
Get a good songbook with all the lyrics. It surprising how many songs you think you know that you don't really know all the words. Have a singing marathon and learn the old classics by heart. I have posted lyrics to a few songs that will get you started in my article about singing on the road.
24:Car-i-Oke ....lyrics AND music!

Can't get enough singing? Need the music to help you with the tune? All-American Car-i-Oke is recommended by a grandmother who described how this CD & songbook helped her and her grandchildren not only survive but also enjoy a six-hour car ride. It's a karaoke kit for the car that contains CDs, songbooks, funny lyrics and instructions on "seat dancing." I bought this one for my kids, and they totally love the Blues section where they get to make up their own lyrics to a blues song. Hilarious. I recently took a 700-mile drive and caught myself singing to this and the kids weren't even on the trip with me!
25:Make a Trip Journal or Scrapbook

Give everyone a big spiral bound sketchpad and a box of crayons or markers. Each day of the trip or for each event along the way, draw a picture of what you did that day, or draw a map of where you went, and write about it. You can also paste in souvenirs such as brochures, ticket stubs and other momentous. This is especially good for trips lasting more than a day. See my article on Creating a Travel Journal for Kids for more on this topic. It has photos of a journal I made when I was 9 years old.
26:Battleship

You sank my battleship! Print this printable battleship game page to play this game just like you remember!
27:Slug Bug

Every time a VW Bug comes into view, the first one to see it shouts "Slug Bug!" and slugs the person sitting next to you (Not too hard though!). Of course, these days in the politically correct atmosphere, we like to teach "non-violence", so instead of actual slugging; we do a symbolic slug and just say "Slug Bug! -- Gotcha!" You could also play "Hug Bug" and give someone a hug instead of a slug!
28:Write or Collect Postcards

Get postcards at your stops to document the trip, and to write back home to friends while you are gone. Bring stamps so you can drop them in the mail on the road so they will arrive at their destination before you return home.
29:Collect Things from all 50 states

Collect pins, hats, refrigerator magnets, spoons or postcards or some memorabilia from each state you visit and attach to your luggage or for a special display or for part of your trip journal.
30:Mad Libs

Make up a short story and ask another person to fill in the blanks with nouns, adjectives, colors, places, etc. Now read the story with their words. It's hilarious! The story comes out different every time. Can't think of a story on your own? You can find them in books - Try the Mad Libs Vacation Pack.
31:Rest Stop Athletics

Keep a ball, Frisbee or jump rope in the back of your van, along with a picnic blanket so when you stop at a rest area, everyone can run and be free and stretch their legs.
32:Aluminum Foil Art

Give everyone a sheet of aluminum foil. Have them mold it into anything they want: animal shapes, Frisbees, balls, jewelry, crowns, headband, necklaces and masks. Be creative. Also a great activity for toddlers. For more ideas read this article I wrote about fun with aluminum foil!
33:Practice a Foreign Language

The car is a great place to practice speaking a new language, especially since you have a captive audience and lots of stuff to look at for learning vocabulary. Try this -- For the next 10 miles, everyone in the car may only speak Spanish (or French, or whatever)! Point out things you see in Spanish, say please and thank you. And if you don't know any Spanish, you may not speak (this will inspire your kids to learn some, or give you your very own version of the Quiet Game!)
Here are a couple of audiotapes that come with a book for learning French or Spanish. Try these:
Learn Spanish in your Car ror Kids! This one is for the whole family. Start with basic vocabulary and repeat after the speaker.
34:Have a Spelling Bee

See who can spell the most words correctly. Choose words that match the correct difficulty level for each age of your children and don't forget the grownups. You might like to bring small dictionary for word ideas and definitions.
35:Lines and Dots

This is that game you used to play in junior high. You make a grid of dots on a sheet of paper. Each player takes turns drawing a line between two dots. The lines are horizontal or vertical (not diagonal) and must be next to each other. If a player makes a complete square, they get to mark the square with their initials in the center of it, and they get another turn. The player with the most squares when all the dots are connected wins! Check out the Mom'sMinivan Printables page for a sample lines and dots page to print.
36:Lego Contest

Have a contest to see who can build the best item that relates to where you are going. Use a shoebox to store the legos, or large zip lock bags. Of course, there's nothing like a NEW set of Legos to really make some smiles.
37:Make Paper Dolls

Make your own paper dolls and paper chains. Keeping the stuff in zip bags or envelopes. Supplies: Paper, markers or crayons, blunt tip scissors, tape.
Or, try Colorforms - Paper Dolls Comes with 2 paper dolls with stands, one reuseable play case, and two sheets covered with Colorforms stick-ons. About $7.48 at AreYouGame
38:Seek Out the Tackiest Places in America

Check out the tackiest places in America (link will open in a new window. Just close it to come back here). Here you can see previews of Carhenge, Extraterrestrial Highway, a Thirty-Foot Plastic Lobster, the Drive-thru Tree, and the Jolly Green Giant (Yes, we actually took our kids to see the Jolly Green Giant, and he is colossal!). Find cool sights in every state!
39:I Spy

Look around and pick an object you can see either in the car or along the road. Then give others a clue such as, "I spy with my little eye... something green.", or "I spy with my little eye .. something brown and furry" Continue to give more clues until they can guess what it is.
40:Twenty Questions

Think of an object, it can be anything as long as it is general. The first question the players will ask is: "Is it classified as Animal, Vegetable, or Mineral", or you can do "Person, Place or Thing". The players can then ask anything they want about the object as long as you are able to answer "yes" or "no" to their question. They try to ask questions that will help them narrow down their ideas until they are able to guess the object. If they can do it in less than 20 questions, they win!

41:Listen to Music or Tapes Individually

Have a Walkman with Headphones and tapes for each child if possible. Then, there is no fighting, and you don't have to listen to kid music for 400 miles. You can find lots of good tales & Tunes: Kids' Music & Audiobooks at Family on Board.
42:Cootie Catcher

Pick a color. Now pick a number, and another number. Your fortune says, "Today is your lucky day!" Just show them how to do this once, and you'll have an activity that will keep your kids busy and filled with creativity! Here are the instructions in case you forgot how, and a printable cootie catcher!
43:"Guess how far away that is"

Pick an object and have everyone guess how far away it is, then clock it on your odometer. Take turns picking the object or let the winner pick.
44:Roll of Tape

Tape is irresistible to kids! Give them a roll and let them go crazy. If you're really lucky, some of it ends up zipping their lips shut for fun (sounds almost too good to be true!). Here's a book that uses 4 rolls of tape as art to entertain - it's called Totally Tape.
45:Homework!

Ok, this is probably a dirty word when you are supposed to be on vacation, but you might be surprised at their willingness to do a few worksheets or practice their handwriting when they don't have anything else to do. Make a packet of stuff for each child to do in the car -- coloring pages, homework sheets, and in their box they have crayons, glue stick, etc....
46:That's My Car!

Take turns. Choose one of the next 5 vehicles that you pass (or that pass you) to be "your car" as if it were your very own. All players mutually decide if you are a "winner" or a "loser" based on how nice a car you "own" compared to the other players current cars.
47:Play Favorites

This one is a good conversation starter. Go around the car and ask each person his or her favorite color. Then have everyone think of different "favorite" questions for the group. What's your favorite... movie, flavor of ice cream, song, game, toy, place to visit, restaurant, book, animal, fish, etc. Be creative and don't forget to ask the driver too!
48:Give each child a "Trip Bag"

This can be a backpack for each child, or a canvas bag or even a big plastic bin that is used specifically for road trips. Kids can load it up with all their favorite road trip stuff and other toys so they can have it all handy and easily accessible to them in the car. You can even decorate the bag to designate it as their special trip bag and use it to collect stickers or pins from various trips. If you don't want to make your own, here's a cute site that sells travel backpacks for "Treasure Bags" for kids that are already stuffed with fun stuff for kids ages 3-8.
49:Have a Puppet Show

Do the show in the car, in the hotel, or anywhere, kids love puppets! Having your puppet "tell" the kids what's coming up next on the trip, or to tell them to behave. If they won't listen to you, maybe they'll listen to a silly puppet. Then give them chances to each have their own puppet to "talk" to each other. Search for puppets at Amazon.
50:Fortunately-Unfortunately

This game helps teach kids to look at the bright side of things in a silly way. For example, you say, "Unfortunately, there's a tiger in the car." Your son says, "Fortunately, he doesn't eat boys." Your daughter says, "Unfortunately, he's looking at me and licking his lips." You say, "Fortunately, I brought along my tiger-jaw-clamper." And so on, alternating between fortunate and unfortunate things. An added bonus - it's a real hoot to hear a 2-year-old use the word "unfortunately"!
51:Treasure Bottle

Prepare this one ahead of time. Use a large soda bottle or a large clean peanut butter jar. Fill it no more than 2/3 full with uncooked rice or birdseed. Then put in about 20-25 small objects (safety pin, plastic bugs, button, M&M, nut, bolt, paper clip, penny, bead, piece of macaroni, tiny lego, and other misc. toy pieces or stuff that is probably rolling around in your kitchen junk drawer.) Keep a count of the items and write down the number of items on the outside of the bottle. Put the lid on tight. Let the kids take turns rolling the bottle around in their hands until they find them all. Kids of all ages love this game. You can make more than one treasure bottle so kids don't have to take turns - put different items in different bottles.
52:Drink Cup Battleship

Your battle ship is the button you push down on the plastic lid of your fast food soda cup (ie..rootbeer, cola, diet, other). Each person takes turns guessing someone's "battleship". The last person with their "battleship" undiscovered wins. You can push the buttons back up and play again and again until the lid breaks. The game is fast and easy. Great for preschoolers and up. Read more about this fun idea here: Drink Cup Battleship
53:Audio Books: Books on tape or CD

When is the last time someone read a story to you? You can check out audio books at your public library (plan ahead and get on the waiting list since at the library), or buy them for your own. Audio books are better than TV in my opinion, especially in the car. This is one of my kids' all time favorite things to do in the car. Here are a few goodies to try: Tales & Tunes: Kids' Music & Audiobooks
Have an iPod? You can download audio books and listen to them on your iPod from sites like Audible.com or at Storynory.com where they have children's audio books online for free!
Classic Radio Broadcast Something new (actually it's old!) and completely different! One of my favorites is the 1938 Orson Wells radio broadcast of War Of The Worlds with Orson Wells -- A true sci-fi radio classic! This one is probably more for slightly older children since it could be a little scary for preschoolers. Try OTR (Old Time Radio) recordings like The Lone Ranger, or Superman.
54:Road Role Play

Travel with a Theme Be pirates for your entire journey. Talk like pirates, dress like pirates (easier than you think), sing pirate songs, play pirate games, watch pirate movies, listen to pirate music. See my article "Pirates of the Caravan" for lots of ideas on how to make like Roger and have a jolly good time in the car.
55:Offical Count!

A twist on the usual counting games. Choose a couple of types of vehicles to count such as VW Bugs and and motorcycles. Tally them on a clipboard or in a travel journal and break them down by color. At the start of the trip, have the kids guess which will be the most popular colors for each vehicle. One reader notes that on a particular trip, her kids learned that most motorcycle drivers prefer black, while the Bug drivers preferred silver.
56:Rock-Paper-Scissors

The classic game. Players each have one palm face up and lay their fist on it. As they count to three, they pound their fist into their hand. On "three", they turn the fist into the object of their choice. There are three to choose from: rock (a closed fist), paper (an open palm), or scissors (two fingers in a sideways V shape). A rock wins by crushing scissors, paper wins by covering the rock, and scissors win by cutting paper. If they both come up with the same shape, they go again.
57:Who Am I?

Think of someone you know, friend or relative. Give a few hints like "She has blonde hair and glasses". Let everyone go around one time with their guess. If no one guesses add another hint like "she laughs funny."
58:Find 100

Choose a color or an object and then count them until you find 100 of that item. Popular Find 100 items are American flags, statues, rivers, waterfalls, churches, red cars, etc. A competitive variation has each person choose a different item or color of car that passes you, and have a race to 100.
59:The Green Game

When driving through towns and cities, look for a hybrid vehicle, such as the Toyota Prius. Then count to 45. Within 45 seconds you will see another one if you are in an environmentally friendly area. Play this to measure which towns are "green".
60:Sweatshirt Keepsake

We started a sweatshirt thing with my kids. I bought 3 XL dark blue sweatshirts and we get a patch for each place the children have visited. States, etc. The kids love it. They hang in their rooms and there have been times we have just entered a state so they could get a patch! They begged us to go to Nebraska (weird!) But it was wonderful.
61:One word: Gameboy!

This is an amazing toy that is perfect for road trips. In moderation theses little video games can be great motivators and teach kids a few things too. My son got his Gameboy when he was 5 and was very motivated to learn to read as soon as possible just so he could read all the instructions and learn strategies for playing those Pokemon games. Get the latest Gameboy games online.
62:Sew Your Own Travel Games

TicTacToe/CheckerBoard - This is a neat bag you can make if you're handy with a sewing machine. The bag becomes the playing board, and it neatly holds all the playing pieces when not in use. Here are the instructions!
Food Ideas for the Car General Travel Tips
63:Stay at Hotels that have a Pool

Plan ahead and only stay at a hotel that has a pool. This gives the kids a great chance to unwind and helps insure that they will wear themselves out enough to get a good night's sleep at the hotel!
64:Stay at Hotels that have breakfast included

Make it easy to feed the family and hit the road early.
65:Use plenty of zip lock bags for everything

Use them to store small parts of games, toys, crayons, for clothes, food, individual snack packs, wipes, and for storing dirty diapers when you can't find a trash can at the rest stop.

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